Iranian monarchists and American republicans

December 8, 2011

In these days, the stupid Iranian Monarchists and their ultra-stupid leader, Reza Pahlavi, play very stupid games. Some say: “They try to deceive the American politicians. They have sold some of the stupid and discredited Iranian baboons’ media, like, and when Iranians inside Iran have boycotted these stupid media and other Iranian baboons’ media, these stupid bastards try to pretend that what their mercenaries say is what Iranians inside Iran say, and in this way they try to deceive the Americans. But are the American politicians so naive that a handful of stupid mercenaries can deceive them?” It’s the question of many Iranians inside Iran, too. In the recent days, Reza Pahlavi was a joke. In the anniversary of killing three university students in 1950s by the Pahlavi regime, that some call it “Student day”, Reza Pahlavi issued a stupid statement that is a ridiculous copy of Mousavi’s statements. Many said: “This stupid bastard, Reza Pahlavi, thinks the Mullahs ruled in 1950s and those three students were killed by the Mullahs, or the US-backed military coup in 1950s was for the Mullahs. This jerk, Reza Pahlavi, is a stupid joke and Iranians inside Iran only laugh at him”. As you know, in 1950s, the US supported a military coup in Iran and saved Pahlavi’s ass. The Iranians students that were angry at the US, protested against the US and Pahlavi in the Tehran University, when the US President had come to Iran, and Pahlavi killed three students inside the Tehran university. “The stupidest person in the world is Reza Pahlavi. He doesn’t know that those students were killed by his father, when his father was U.S. puppet in 1950s”, many say and laugh. Unfortunately, the American media /politicians that are republicans in the old republic system of the world, try to make love with the monarchists and anti-Republic Iranians, and it’s one of the greatest jokes of all times. As we said before, the Iranian Monarchists have two versions: the religious Monarchists (the Mullahs and their Islamist followers), and the secular Monarchists (Phahlavi and his fans in LA, California). The secular Monarchists (Pahlavists) are dead zombies who live in the US, and Iranian inside Iran hate them very much. But some stupid American media and politicians try to make love with the stupid Iranian Monarchists, and try to pretend that these stupid bastards are a pro-democracy force! “It’s a suicide for the US, if they support the Iranian Monarchists. 2010s is not 1950s, and those who supported the Mullahs in 2009 should know that supporting the Monarchists in 2010s is the final nail in their coffin. Iran is a pro-US nation and the number of pro-US people in Iran is larger than any other country in the world. Today’s Iran has more than 20 million university educated people, and even god can not restore the monarchy in Iran. It’s better for the US and its long-term interests that they stop supporting the evil forces (the Mullahs and the Monarchists), and instead support the freedom and democracy and a secular republic in Iran. It’s what Iranians want. Otherwise, 70 million anti-Islamist and anti-Pahlavist Iranians, and more than 20 million university educated people in Iran, would hate the US and would become anti-US. Is it what the US wants?” Now, lets take a look at a fictional story about the relation between the American media and the Iranian Monarchists. It’s a fictional story about an imaginary American media (XPost) and its interview with an imaginary Iranian Monarchist (Mr. IranDoost). It’s a fictional story that shows how they try to deceive public opinion in the US, Iran, and the whole world.


Before the Interview

Mr. Smith, the manager of XPost, is talking with his old friend in Washington. His old friend, John, asks him to work with some Iranian Monarchists. But Mr. Smith says: “The Monarchists? John, do you want to disgrace me? XPost is not a cheap American media” John: “We work with the Monarchists since 1950s. They are our old stooge. For example, Mr. IranDoost is a great Monarchist in LA, who works for us and for some Republican institutions in California”. Smith: “Is it a joke? A Monarchist work for republicans ?!” John: “Iranian Monarchists are our friend and puppet, and they have started to pretend that they are pro-democracy. They ask us to help them to restore the Monarchy in Iran.” Smith: “Restoring the Monarchy in Iran? in 21st century?” John: “Yes, they know we always support the dictators and the dictatorship in other countries, so they hope we can help them. Oh, you should not call them Monarchist. The Iranian Monarchists know that Iranians and other nations hate the monarchists, so they call themselves ‘Constitutionalist” ! And Iranians call them “Pahlavists”. But it’s better you call them Constitutionalist instead of Monarchist. Or you can call him ‘Iranian Expert’.” Smith: “Wow. so, Mr. IranDoost is not an Iranian expert, but we should call him ‘Iranian expert’. Is he a typical jerk that we should pretend he is an expert?” John: “yah, but who cares? who knows Iran, Iranians, or what happen in Iran? you can use a baboon and pretend that he is an Iranian expert; who cares and who knows the truth?” Smith: “OK” John: “your reports should only pretend that he is a pro-democracy and well-informed Iranians, that’s all. They should not say that he is a monarchist or a stupid reactionary Iranian” Smith” OK, John. Don’t worry”.


During the Interview

Reporter: “Mr. IranDoost, as a Iranian expert what do you think about the political scene in Iran?” IranDoost: “We have Ahmadinejad, the president, who has many supporters and is the winner of the election in 2009, and we have Khamenei who has not many supporters and they fight against each other. It’s a power struggle. Ahmadinejad wants to be friend of Americans, but some don’t allow him” Reporter: “So, you love Ahmadinejad. But what do you think about the US sanctions?” IranDoost: “Some believe that the US sanctions hurt the ordinary Iranians, not Iran’s regime, but Iranians inside Iran that toppled Pahlavi should pay its price. The US punishes the ordinary Iranians, not the regime, because it’s necessary for freedom and democracy in Iran. We only care about the power, excuse me, the freedom and democracy, and the people who live in Iran should pay its prices.” Reporter: “Wow. What do you think about the US policy towards Iran? What shall the US do?” IranDoost: “The US should invest in Ahmadinejad, and then in Khamenei, and after that in Mr. Pahlavi and the Iranian opposition in the US” Reporter: “Who are these Iranian oppositions in the US?” IranDoost: “They are a very modern and pro-democracy force. They have been here for about 30 years and have worked for the American politicians and for a democratic and secular monarchy in Iran” Reporter: “What? Monarchy?” IranDoost: “yes, monarchy; what’s wrong? Of course, you know that you should edit our interview and you can change ‘secular monarchy’ with ‘secular system’ or …” Report: “Yah, but they told me that you are expert and liberal, not a monarchist” IranDoost: “Yes, I’m a liberal, but a liberal monarchist” Reporter: “What’s your plan for Iran’s future?” IranDoost: “we want to restore the Monarchy in Iran. We want to take Iran back to 1960s, when we worked for you, and you loved us” Reporter: “But Iranians hate you and your era. That’s why they kicked you out of Iran. Now, many Iranians are young and educated and they hate you. They will not accept the Monarchy” IranDoost: “who cares about Iranians? we only want to have your support, the American support, and it’s enough for us. If the US supports us, we can restore the Monarchy in Iran. Of course, the US still tries to reach a deal with the Mullahs, but we, the Monarchists, are their second option. In fact, we want to be their second option. That’s why I give you interview, and you care about us” Reporter: “Wow, I did not know anything about these matters. I only wanted to have a interview with you about Iran. So, lets finish our interview. I have a bad headache now. Who is who in Iran, and who are friends of the US?” IranDoost: “Ahmadinejad is friend of the US, and if he can not succeed in seizing the power, the US can invest in Khamenei, and if they can not reach an agreement, the Iranian opposition in the US is the best option for the US, for having a better Iran” Reporter: “really? a better future with the Monarchists?” IranDoost: “Yah, why not? it’s what we and our dear friends in Washington are working for it”


After the Interview

Reporter: “Mr. Smith, this IranDoost is idiot. He only talks nonsense. What he says is bullshit. Do you really want to publish his bullshits?” Smith: “Yes, who cares? and who knows the truth? We edit his bullshits and publish it. I just want to help my old friends in Washington” Reporter: “But IranDoost is a stupid reactionary Monarchist. The Iranian Monarchists are very reactionary and stupid. Do you think the US can invest in them?” Smith: “I know these monarchists are idiot, but we should do our own job. We should help our old friends in Washington and prepare public opinion, that’s all. Lets edit the interview and publish it” Reporter: “The Americans should know the truth about Iran and Iranians. But they are brainwashed. They are misled. We mislead them” Smith: “It’s part of our job, boy. Yah, many don’t know the truth about Iran and Iranians. But we should do our job” Reporter: “But what we do is not fair. It also makes Iranians angry.” Smith: “Who cares about Iranians?” Reporter: “But …” Smith: “Did you know Persian language?” Report: “Yah, a little” Smith: “Do you know what Iranians, those who live in Iran, not these jerks in LA, think about us and the American media? Reporter: “As far as I know, apparently they are really angry at us. They hate the Monarchists and the Islamists, and those who support these reactionary groups.” Smith: “It’s understandable. But we should do our job. And they should solve their own problems” Reporter: “But we create these problems for them. I hope they can forgive us in the future” Smith: “I hope so. But lets publish his bullshits and make our old friends happy. Oh, what this idiot told you when he left here?” Reporter: “He said: ‘Javid Shah’.” Smith: “What? what it means?” Reporter: “it’s the Hitler salute of the Iranian Monarchists, and it means “Long live Shah”. They are really stupid”. Smith: “My old friends in Washington only love the old fart and the reactionary jerks. But please edit the bullshits of this idiot in a way that the people think he is a pro-democracy and Iranian expert” Reporter: “OK”