A very Stupid Comedy: “Mullahs and UK”

In these days, the UK and the Mullahs that are close friends but pretend that they are enemy of each other, try to play new games for deceiving the stupid people. Their stupid games and their current stupid shows are really worthless and stupid, and we didn’t want to write about it, but what has happened behind the scenes is interesting. In these days, many shameful but important scandals, like the secret meetings between the Mullah Mafia and the western authorities some days after the Mullah Coup, or secret meetings between British Defence Minister and the Mullahs some days before the Mullah Militray Coup in 2009, or the stories of the Mullah Mafia and the Mullah embezzlers who live in the west, have disgraced the fake enemies, and they think they need new games to deceive public opinion. But the new games between the Mullahs and the UK are like a very stupid comedy. Many Iranians believe: “Their current game is another stupid game between the Mullahs and the British Mullah Makers”. So, lets take a look at a fictional story about this stupid game. What you read here is a fictional story about behind the scenes, but many believe it’s based on a true story.

In London …

James, manager of CMFW (“Committee of Managing the Fake War”) is angry. In James’ office in CMFW, that is a British organization that controls the relationships between the UK and the Mullahs, Robin has sat on the sofa, and looks at the window. He is angry too. Robin, that is a member of CMFW, is close friend of James. The new scandals that have revealed a very small part of the secret relationships between the Mullahs and the UK, have made them angry. James: “Now, everybody knows that we and the Mullahs are close friends. What shall we do? ” Robin: “I don’t know. But we can handle it. Lets just think about it. We can find a good solution” James: “How? Iranians and many others know that ten thousands of Mullahs and their families and the Mullah agents live in London. They know that Larijani Brothers are our stooge. They know about the secret meetings between our Defence minister and the Mullahs some days before the Mullah Military Coup. They know many things”. Robin: “No, they know nothing. We can say that it’s ‘Conspiracy Theory’. We can solve our problem by using our TV series in Iran, “Uncle Napoleon”. We can claim what some say are the conspiracy theory of uncle Napoleon” James: “It’s an old excuse. The young Iranians don’t accept this bullshit. We need a new solution” Robin: “Let me see … We can say we impose sanction on their banks, and then we can have an attack at our embassy in Tehran. Like 1979” James: “2011 is not 1979” Robin: “Yah, but when our media and the Iranian media repeat a big lie, many naive and stupid people accept it. Don’t worry.” James: “I don’t know. It’s very stupid”. Robin: “We can ask the Mullahs to use their Basiji thugs and we call them Iranian Students” James: “But it so ridiculous, even the Iranian babies will laugh at us and this stupid plot. We need a better plan”. Robin: “No, the British people, the American people, and the Iranian expats are stupider than the Iranian children. They are naive. We can manipulate them.” James: “While thousands of the Mullahs and their families live in London, and when the Mullahs and the Mullah embezzlers invest their embezzled money here, no one accepts this stupid show” Robin: “No, the naive people will accept it”


James: “When the BBC Perisan is the voice of Mullahs and Mullah Mafia, who can believe this big lie?” Robin: “Are you OK James? You are angry and disappointed. Just relax”. James: “We supported the Mullahs in 2009, and opposed the regime change. Khamenei’s TV works here in London and has a very large Building and many Basiji staffs here. Who can accept this stupid plot?” Robin: “Relax, man. The world is full of naive and stupid people. Don’t worry.” James: “When the Mullah Mafia and thousands of Mullah agents live here in London, who accept this stupid plan?” Robin: “Drink this glass of water. Be relax, man. Don’t forget that we are master at playing games” After about 2 hours, James says: “OK, what we should do”. Robin: “We should ask the Mullahs to use 100 or 200 Basiji thugs and attack our embassy in Tehran. They should chant “Death to England” in front of camera.” James: “Our show should seem natural as much as possible” Robin: “Yah, they should pull down our flag, and burn it, and replace it with the Mullah one, threw satellite dishes off the roofs, smashed windows and scattered thousands of papers in the street in front of the embassy …” James: “Yah, then the BBC and other British Media will tear their ass up, and will pretend that 100 to 200 Basiji thugs are Iranian students … It’s not bad.”

In Tehran …

Robin calls Tehran and asks the head of SMJZ to implement the plot. CMFW has an Iranian counterpart in Tehran that the Mullahs call it SMJZ (“Setad Modiriat Jange Zargari”). Haji, the head of SMJZ, accepts the plan, but he says that his men have some better plans that can complete the basic plan. Haji: “the Majlis (the Mullah Parliament) can vote to expel the British ambassador. It’s a good Idea, isn’t it?” Robin: “Yah, I think James will be happy. I will call Larijani and speak with him, and you can handle the Basiji thugs”. Haji: “OK. But we need some MI6 agents to work with us”. Robin: “Don’t worry. You can call Kate, and she will tell you what they can do for you” Haji: “OK. But I only have about 300 Basiji now. Is it enough for this plan?” Robin: “It’s enough. Just ask 10 to 20 foreign journalists in Tehran to go there. And ask your TV and your Basiji reporters to go there and cover the whole event.” Haji: “OK. But you should ask the foreign journalists to take only close-up photographs. I have just about 300 Basiji.”


Robin: “Don’t worry. The foreign journalists in Tehran have learned their lessons” Haji: “OK. Can we destroy something inside the embassy?” Robin: “No, just break several windows and film it”. Haji: “OK. I want to ask our police to block the streets near the embassy. But I’m frightened that the foreign journalists report the truth and disgrace us.” Robin: “No, the foreign journalists in Tehran only report what we ask them. They will not have any interview with the ordinary Iranians. They only work with you and your Basiji mercenaries. Even if they reported something stupid, we call edit the reports here. Don’t worry”. Haji: “OK. So, we can do whatever we want to do, and we can be sure that the foreign journalists are like our Basiji reporters?” Robin: “Yah, they are like your Basiji mercenaries”. Haji: “OK. But Iranians will not accept our reports. They don’t watch our TV, and don’t read our newspapers. Of course I can contact our Iranian mercenaries in London and Washington, but how do you want to manipulate Iranians?” Robin: “Don’t worry. I will ask the BBC Persian and our Iranian mercenaries in the Iranian media to handle the situation. They are like your Mullah TV and your Mullah newspapers.” Haji: “OK. So, everything is ready for our show” Robin: “Yah, I wait for your show”.

Action …

About 300 Basiji thugs are ready to attack the British embassy in Tehran. The foreign journalists know what they should report. They know when they should close their eyes. They know how they should take photo or film the Basiji thugs. When that 300 Basiji thugs reach in front of the embassy, all roads are already blocked by the Mullah police and the streets are empty. But in the sidewalks, the people only laugh at the stupid Basiji and their stupid shows. The smiles and the eyes of the ordinary people can show you many things. They clearly show that Iranians hate both the Mullahs and the British Mullah Makers. In the sidewalks, you can only hear one thing: “Such a ridiculous show. It’s a family plot. It’s just another stupid game between the Mullahs and the British Mullah Makers


In London …

After the stupid show, Robin and James are happy. Robin: “That was great, now our media and our Iranian mercenaries in London are covering this stupid event” James: “who? the Iranian baboons ? they are so disgraced in Iran”. Robin: “But the BBC Persian is discredited in Iran, too”. James: “Do you think Iranians will believe this big lie?” Robin: “Iranians are not important. They are voiceless and have no media. We should try to deceive the stupid people in the UK and the US”. James: “Yah, but you should ask our Iranian media to threaten Iranians with war and intimidate them” Robin: “Yah, but Iranians inside Iran only laugh at us. We should focus on the stupid people in the west” James: “Yah, the naive and stupid people still think we support the Iranian opposition ! Our media should say: “Britain supports the opposition Green movement !” Robin: “Yah, it’s so funny. Our media will pretend that the Basiji thugs and those who are member of Mullah Gestapo are Iranian students or Iranian protesters or Iranian intellectuals !” James: “It’s really funny. You can ask the stupid Robert Fisk and other stupid lefts in the UK to talk nonsense about this matter. They should say: “Iranians attack the British Embassy”. They should pretend that the Basij and the Mullahs are representative of Iranians !” Robin: “Yah, the stupid Fisk and other stupid lefts are godsend for us”. James: “But do you think the people accept this? Those who killed, tortured and raped Iranians are representative of Iranians? Who can accept this big lie?” Robin: “The lie should be big. The bigger, the better. It’s what our master, Goebbels, said” James: “Yah, but we supported these killers and rapists in 2009. They are our friend. They are our stooge. But now we want to pretend that they are our enemy. Do think our people or the Americans can accept this?” Robin: “They will accept what our media and the stupid lefts say. The people are so stupid.” James: “Yah, they are so stupid, but …” Robin: “Don’t worry James. It’s like other British policies”. James: “Yah, it’s just part of the British Politics that is based on the biggest possible lies”. When James and Robin were happy, some Iranians asked themselves: “About 300 Basiji thugs with the help of some stupid mercenaries in all around the world – those who call themselves “Journalist”- can make a big news for the whole world ?! Is it a joke ? Is the world so stupid in 21st century that a handful of worthless mercenaries can create an big news for about 7 billion people ?!”

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