The Story of Western Countries & Iranian Baboons, 2

November 24, 2011

It’s the second and last part of the short story about Iranian baboons. You can find the first parthere .

To Go, or not to Go

Nahid: “You should go, Sohrab. This damn country is not for you. You can’t live here. In addition, you should go because the outside world is full of Iranian bastards or Khayemals (ass-kissers). The people like you should go there and change something”. Sohrab: “Change what? Some problems are very serious. They are like old wounds. Only time heals these wounds”. Nahid: “I mean, you should go there for your own life and for others’ life. You should be there, not here”. Sohrab: “Yah, but I don’t want to go there at any price. It’s really stupid. I want to live there like humans, not like animals. I had to go after my graduation, but this f-u-c-k-i-n-g life …” Nahid: “But it’s not your fault. You solved many damn family and economic problems without kissing anybody’s ass, and you showed that humans can live like human, under any condition. You showed that humans can avoid living like animal, under any condition” Sohrab: “But who cares?” Nahid: “I care” Sohrab: “Thanks, but now some one like Yahya live in XLand and laugh at us here” Nahid: “Yahya? that boy that I saw him in your university and the students called him ‘Yahya Basiji’? ” Sohrab: “Yah, that Yahya is in XLand and works for a prestigious university, and at the same time kisses the Mullahs’ ass, like when he was here”. Nahid: “Why XLand lets some one like him, a Basiji, to go there, but somebody like you …” Sohrab: “Lets forget it. Now, I don’t want to think about XLand’s stupidities”. Nahid: “Ok, but what should we do? What do you want to do?” Sohrab: “I don’t know. One of these damn philosophers once had said ‘There is one truly serious philosophical problem, and that is suicide. Judging whether life is, or is not worth living is the fundamental question of philosophy.’ And now I think I should try to answer this fundamental question again. Now, I should try to find new excuses and call them the answer, because my old excuses are quite worthless now.” Nahid: “Lets forget the fundamental matter; Lets talk about Yahya and other bastards who live in the west” Sohrab: “About those Iranian jerks who work in Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard, Princeton, etc and kiss the Mullahs’ ass? It’s more depressing” Nahid: “Yah. So, lets talk about the religious fanatics or those who live like sheep”. Sohrab: “You know my answer.” Nahid: “Come on” Sohrab: “Being religious or irreligious is not the important matter. Being sheep or charlatan is the important matter. Many of the atheist students that you knew them well, were sheep or charlatan. And when they left here, some of them became the stupid followers of some one like Chomsky, because it’s in fashion there. And some of them who were charlatan, kissed the ass of politicians or big corporations; and some became indifferent animals, and some …”. Nahid: “Why many Iranians become dumb when they leave Iran?” Sohrab: “I don’t know. There are many reasons. Apparently, the vast majority of them become dumb there because they were dumb here! And because they had serious delusions about there, or because they had both problems” Nahid: “Yah. I think those who are wise, can be wise everywhere. But when you are charlatan, dumb, hypocrite, opportunist, or animal, leaving Iran only can worsen your problems”. Sohrab: “Yah, such a good analysis”. Nahid: “Thanks. But you should go there, you can’t live here” Sohrab: “Yah, I can’t live here, but I can’t go there by any means. It’s worst than living here”. Nahid: “So, what do you want to do?” Sohrab: “I don’t know” Nahid: “Maybe, we can wait for a better situation” Sohrab: “The situation always becomes worse, only worse and worse”. Nahid: “Where is your hopes?” Sohrab: “In the Pandora box”

Money, Money, and Money

Sohrab could not get visa, but Akbar and Masoud went to XLand. When Sohrab challenged the fundamental question, Akbar and Masoud enjoyed their life in XLand. They tried to work as “Iranian opposition” or “Iranian dissident” or “Iranian intellectual” there and they tried to get financial support. They started to find new links. Masoud found Atta, a veteran politician that pretends he is intellectual. And Akbar met Yahya, the Basiji that Sohrab talked about him. They started to define some new projects, and XLand promised that they would provide financial support. Now, after about a year, Masoud’s project is “an online newspaper for Iranians”, with the help of the Atta and XLand’s financial support. Akbar and Yahya want to build a social website for Iranians, for sharing their links and their views with each others. XLand has declared that they can support both projects, because they help the freedom and democracy in Iran. Masoud, Akbar, and Yahya decide to celebrate their first achievement. They go to a luxury restaurant. Before the dinner Masoud says: “Atta is a great man, and has many links here and also in Iran, and now we have a very good financial support” Akbar: “XLand don’t support us strongly, but after some years they would love our project”. Yahya: “Both projects are great. Many think you are intellectual. You are famous in Iran, but nobody knows me there. I want to become like you. I want to become rich, too. I love money”. Masoud: “We all love money. Yahya, you can become rich, but if you know the rules of the game” Yahya: “Yes, I know the rules. If the Mullahs gave you money, you should kiss their ass. It’s one of the key rules”. Masoud: “Money is everything, it’s the golden rule” Akbar: “Yah, money is everything. But I prefer to be a famous and important rich”. Masoud: “And these projects are good for both goals” Yahya: “Yah. But I can’t understand why we don’t accept the Pahlavists’ money. They are very rich.” Masoud: “Now, it’s suicide. They are very small and hated group in Iran, and if we work with them now, we cann’t be popular in Iran, because Iranians hate the monarchists and Pahlavists; Xland can’t accept this”. Akabr: “At the first years, we should pretend that our website is a website for Iranians inside Iran, and when we won the people’s confidence and gained reputation, we can do whatever we what to do. In this way, Xland support us. When our websites became popular, we can work with Pahlavists, Rajavists, Islamists, and pretend that they are Iranians inside Iran! But now we need Iranians inside Iran” Yahya: “If our Pahlavist and Islamist friends could wait some years, what do you say? Can we accept their money?”. Masoud: “If they could wait, it’s not bad.” Akbar: “They should accept all our conditions” Yahya: “Don’t worry. They would accept all our conditions”. Akbar: “OK. lets enjoy our night.” Masoud: “It’s our new beginning in XLand. But we all should support each other.” Yahya: “Yah. We support Masoud and he supports us. It’s very important for our success”. Masoud: “We can create a council. We should suffocate the voices of others with the help of each other. We should pretend that we are nationalist and we really care about Iranians. XLand and other western countries ask us to be nationalist. We should win Iranians’ confidence”. Akbar: “A closed circle for managing everything is very important. We should be chauvinist, and defend Iran and Iranians in a way that the whole world thinks we are owner of Iran. Our sponsors and financial supporters want to count on us. We should not disappoint their hopes”


Deception, Hypocrisy, and Betrayal

Everything went well for Masoud, Akbar, and Yahya, and their websites became popular and many naive people in Iran were fooled. Masoud, Akbar, and Yahya became great nationalist and always talked about Iran and defended the Iranian rights in everywhere. The western mass media supported them, and pretended that they are the main figures of the Iranian opposition. And the naive people believed these big lies, and in this way Masoud, Akbar, and Yahya became hero, national heroes. But during the biggest problem of this damn land, the Mullah Military Coup, Masoud, Akbar, Yahya and others showed their true colors, and the naive people gradually became aware of the truth. Of course, the process of “becoming aware” or as Iranians say “Kharfahm Shodan” (Donkey Understanding), was a very long process. In the first weeks after the Mullah coup, everybody was angry and no one could control the people. Masoud, Akbar, Yahya, and others only tried to prevent the effective protests, like general strike or remaining in the streets. The continuous protests could be very dangerous for the Mullahs, and XLand and other western supporters of the Mullahs knew it, and asked Masoud, Akbar, and others to prevent continuous and efficient protests and organizing the people. They also had to suffocate the wise protesters, but many Iranians were naive and could not see the problems. The people were angry and used special acronyms, like Mr. shit, etc for referring to the Mullahs, and they had many unplanned and discontinuous protests. Many were raped, tortured or killed in the streets and the prisons. After some months, Masoud, Akbar, Yahya, and their western supporters thought they had to try to control the people more. It was a risky job, but it was necessary for keeping the Mullah regime safe. Masoud, Akbar, Yahya, and others declared that Iranians had to stop using acronyms for referring to the Mullahs. But the angry people did not accept it. When using acronyms was banned in the websites of Masoud, Akbar, and Yahya and they declared that the people did not have to use insulting words for referring to the Mullah killers and rapists and all Iranians had to refer to the savage Mullahs by respectful words, some started to realize the true colors of Masoud, Akbar, and Yahya. Some started to write about them and called them jerk, baboon, mercenary, etc. For example, some wrote: “Baboons want to ban the people from farting. Now, the people even can not fart freely!”. Sohrab and his friends and many other wise guys were angry, frustrated, and of course voiceless. In the past years, some of them had tried to inform the people, but the mass media had ignored them and censored their voices. Sohrab still thought about the fundamental question, and the Mullah Military Coup, the stupidity of Iranians, and the hypocrisy of Iranian baboons and the western countries had worsened the situation. Their friends asked him to start to write. They said: “We all should inform the people and give each others courage and inspiration. You and all of us should defend the truth and the right of people in this damn land”. Sohrab: “Yah., But it’s funny that I should defend this damn land. You all know that I hate many things in this f-u-c-k-ing land, but the jerks who are stupid nationalist or have become chauvinist and tear their ass up for this damn land, and the jerks that the naive people cared about them and made them hero, betray this f-u-c-k-ing land and its people. The traitors and mercenaries are hero and earn good money and have financial support and live in XLand, but I should defend of this fucking land and its stupid people by bare hand. Is it a joke ?” Nahid: “Yah, it’s a tragic joke. very tragic”. Sohrab’s friends: “The people have started to understand the truth. They are not as stupid as before” Sohrab: “Yah. They are killed in the streets and their straw heroes betray them. The poor people are brave, but they are still naive and trust the jerks and the hypocrite media”. Sohrab’s friends: “We should help them” Sohrab: “Yah, but we have no media and are voiceless. If you have a plan and wanted to do something, I would help you”.

The Fallen Masks

Finally Masoud, Akbar, Yahya, and others, destroyed the people movement, and only after that the majority could see their true colors. Now, many call them “Iranian baboons”. Now, Masoud, Akbar, Yahya, and other Iranian baboons are so disgraced and discredited in Iran. Sohrab and his friends are angry about what has happened to the people movement, but they are happy that the people finally saw the true colors of Iranian baboons. Sohrab’s friends say: “Iranian baboons are so disgraced now, but what XLand and the western countries did was worsen than what Iranian baboons did” Sohrab: “Yah, but do you know what they said to me in the embassy of XLand? A bitch there said ‘this regime is your regime and you have created it'” Nahid: “I want to find that XLandi bitch and spit on her face and say: ‘Hey F-u-c-k-er, you are the supporter of this regime. It’s your regime, not our regime’. I hate XLand and all XLandis”. Sohrab: “Those jerks were so worthless. But all XLandis are not like them, and many good guys hate these jerks.” Nahid: “But those bitches and bad guys rule XLand”. Sohrab: “Yah, but it’s like here. It’s a global problem” Nahid: “When the bastards and bitches have the upper hand there, only the bastards and Khayemals (ass-kissers) can go there.” Sohrab: “Yah, it’s a serious problem” Nahid: “ Why the good guys don’t protest against this matter? They can solve this problem” Sohrab: “I don’t know” Nahid: “Can the good guys help you to go to XLand? Is this possible?” Sohrab: “I don’t know. It should not be impossible”. Nahid: “so, why they don’t help us to go to XLand? Why only the stupid bastard Iranians or the opportunists can go to XLand? ” Sohrab: “I don’t know” Sohrab’s friends: “It’s so ridiculous that when we wrote in our websites in spite of serious dangers and tried to reach the voices of Iranians to the outside world, some of the stupid westerners said: ‘You are not inside Iran”!” Nahid: “Yah, they always ask stupid questions. But why they are so stupid?” Sohrab: “I don’t know”. Nahid: “why the good guys don’t help us? Why they ignore us? Why we should live like prisoners in this big prison, while our bastards can go there with the help of their bastards, but they don’t protest?” Sohrab: “I don’t know. Maybe they don’t care about this matter.” Nahid: “But they should care, if they are good guys”. Sohrab’s friends: “If we and all Sohrabs of this damn country and this damn world, started to write, talk, and do something, the world can change. But if we were silent, then all Akbars, all Masouds, and other bastards of this damn world gain the upper hand and impose their dreadful plans on all humans”. Sohrab: “Yah, it’s important” Nahid: “What do you want to do Sohrab?” Sohrab: “I don’t know. I’m tired now. I’m tired of living in this damn country. I’m tired of this damn world. Many things in this f-u-c-k-ing world have frustrated me and all of us. Sometimes I think we still live in 19th century; Many things in this damn world have not changed seriously. Of course, I know that if we want to be alive, we should fight for a better world; but …” Nahid: “The world would a better place, if we could live in where we want or where we deserve to live, and if Akabr and Masoud and other jerks were forced to live in this damn country, where they deserve to live. But XLand and its bastards …”. Sohrab and his friends could not reach any conclusion. But the world would be a better place if Sohrab and his friends and all Sohrabs of this damn world reach a conclusion, help each others, and start to fight for a better world.