Iranian Foods vs Western Foods

Iranians, like other nations, have many stupid traditions and stupid weak points. But the story of Iranian traditions and Iranian expats is one of the stupidest things. While the stupid Iranian expats have the stupidest Iranian weak points (like telling lie, kissing ass, etc), they talk nonsense about many things, including the Iranian foods that are the best part of the Iranian traditions. The traditional Iranian Foods, specially Kaleh Pache are unknown in the world, but when you search the web, you can find that the stupid Iranian expats have misled the non-Iranians. These Iranian jerks who often kiss the Mullahs’ ass and the Pahlavi’s ass, distort the facts. These stupid bastards pretend that they are intellect, while they are “typical disgusting Iranian baboons”, who often tell lie, kiss ass, and are very jealous, hypocrite, nosy, etc. These Iranian jerks are so disgusting and should be deported to Iran, and here they should be brought to trial for the embezzled money and what they have stolen from Iran. It’s funny that these stupid bastards don’t talk about the stupid Iranian traditions or the “typical disgusting characteristics of the Iranian baboons”, but they talk nonsense about some Iranian traditions that are not so bad, without knowing anything about other parts of the world.

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As we said before, “Kaleh Pacheh” (or “Kale Pache”) is one of the traditional Iranian foods that tastes good, but it’s the most controversial Iranian food. Since the ancient time, herbs and vegetables have been the main parts of the Iranian foods, and it’s rare in the world. Iranians have one of the richest cuisine in the world that is full of herbs and vegetables, and vegans love it. Iranians have a very long list of foods that are only made by herbs and vegetables. Iranians did not eat many things, like pig, lobster, shrimp, etc that Europeans still eat them. But when they killed a sheep, they tried to use all its meat, and it had economic reasons. As you know, the Chinese eat all animate objects! The Eastern countries, especially the Chinese, eat cats, rats, dogs, bugs, cockroaches, crickets, etc. And the European eat “Lobster” and many sea creatures that are like a bigger version of the cockroaches !

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Many Iranians say: “How can they eat lobster? or how can they bear seeing lobster in their plate?, or how they can bear cooking lobster?” As you know, many American and European women and men can’t bear cooking lobster, and some can’t bear seeing it in their plates. And it’s exactly like our story in Iran. The vast majority of Iranian hate cooking Kaleh Pacheh, or seeing how they cook it. Some even hate eating “Kale Pache”. Iranians who want to eat Kaleh Pacheh, go to its special restaurants, and enjoy eating Kaleh Pache that is “meat” and “fat”. Some think Iranians put the sheep’s head on the table and eat it !!! But it’s a joke, a very big lie. It’s what Europeans do, not Iranians. Europeans put fish, lobster, shrimp, etc with its head, its legs/ crawls, and its open eyes on the table and eat it. In fact, this sort of serving foods is a Chinese / Japanese/ European tradition, not a Persian tradition.

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Those Iranians and non-Iranians who hate seeing the cooking bowl of “Kale Pache”, also hate seeing lobster, fish head, etc. Many Iranians ask: “Why Europeans serve fish with its head, or lobster in its original shape? It’s really horrible”. Yes, it’s really horrible. But the Chinese are worse than Europeans and many Iranians and non-Iranians can’t bear seeing Chinese foods and how they cook all animate objects ! Of course, when you can’t see the original shape of what you eat, and you just see small or large portions of meat, what you eat can be everything, including lobster, cat, crocodile, monkey, Kale Pache, etc. Only when you see the truth, it becomes horrible! But the Chinese, Japanese, Europeans, etc eat animals in their original shapes, and it’s really horrible. In fact, the cooking bowl of Kaleh Pache is much more acceptable than the Chinese, Japanese, or European kitchens. And a plate of “Kale Pache” is much more acceptable than a plate of lobster, rat, cat, live fish, etc.

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Some Iranians say: “Those who eat meat, actually eat hands, legs, etc of the animals, and it’s as horrible as eating inner meats of head or foot of a sheep”. In fact, Kaleh Pache is meat and fat of sheep, and has different parts. When you go to its restaurant you have many options: “Zaboon” (Tongue), “Bana Goosh” (Chin), “Cheshm” (Eye), “Maghz” (Brain), “Pache” (Foot), “Ab Goosht” (Water), etc. Many Iranians, we included, only order “Bana Goosh” and “Zaboon”, that are delicious meat, and have not any special shape or taste. “Cheshm” is meat, but its shape is horrible. And “Brain”, is only fat, and its shape is so horrible. I only tested “Brain” once, and it was like a weird mushy fat, a very stupid fat. So, if you wanted to test “Kale Pache” in Iran, you should only order “Bana Goosh” and “Zaboon”, and then you become a lover of Kaleh Pacheh! The tourists should know that many Iranians only eat “Bana Goosh” and “Zaboon”.

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A Swedish tourist that had eaten Kaleh Pacheh in Tehran, said: “First we got a bowl of the water (Ab Goosht) that the sheep head had been boiled in it. Next was a plate with tongue, followed by a plate with chin. The final plate was the brains and the eyes. I felt like a zombie as I let loose on the pieces, which were really unlike anything Id ever eaten before. Finally, a sweet pomegranate beer provided a nice contrast to the meat”. In fact, they had eaten like a horse ! When he was asked: “How did the sheep brain REALLY taste? Did you finish it?”, he answered: “The brain tasted weird, maybe some strange mix between mushroom and truffle [!] But our plates were actually quite empty afterwards !” Apparently many tourists eat a lot of “Brain” ! and it’s both funny and horrible! It’s not like what Iranians do. The tourists should forget “Brain”, and instead they should eat “Kale Pache” like Iranians. Funny Iranians say: “Those who eat Brain are brainless“! Iranians also have a funny slang about eating brain. When Iranians say: “X has eaten Maghze Khar (donkey brain)”, it means: “X is very very very stupid”. So, if you ate Brain, you would be like Reza Pahlavi and the Monarchists who eat donkey brain! As you know, 99% of Iranians believe: “Reza Pahlavi and the Monarchists have eaten Maghze Khar (donkey brain)” !

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