Khamenei and Mr. shit

In the recent days, The last play of Khamenei have had more shitty Acts. Mr. shit has sulked! He is furious with Khamenei for Moslehi’s case. He doesn’t attend the cabinet meetings. He has threatened that he resigns. And the Islamic parliament (Majles) has threatened him with interpellation. Now we want to take a look at these new acts:

Act 8 : Inside Mr. shit’s Office

Mashaee: “As your right-hand man, I should say that we are aware of eavesdropping in our office, but Keyhan and Majles think that we are idiot.” Mr. shit: “Yes I know. Agha (Khamenei) manipulated us. We manipulate all people in this system, but now Agha manipulated us! shit. But we are not like Shariatmadari, and Agha should be aware of that.” Mashaee: “Agha (Khamenei) is nasty and smart Mullah, we should not underestimate him.” Mr. shit: “We should use new tactics. Sulk, threat, resignation, xxx plan, etc” Mashaee: “yes, xxx plan, I forgot it. ha ha, it’s cool”.

Act 9 : Inside Khamenei’s Office

Moslehi: “Agha, Mr. shit don’t invite me to the party, excuse me, to the cabinet meeting. What did you say to him in your private meeting” Khamenei: “Nasty boy. But don’t worry, today I have a good plan for him. Yesterday, he said that he accept you, and I said that he is my love. But apparently both of us are very honest about our feelings. Today I have a surprise for him in my public speech.” Moslehi: “Agha, what do you want to say? tell me now, please, please, please …”. Khamenei: “Don’t be stupid. Just wait and see. But … OK … I tell you. I want to surprise Mr. shit and treat him as he treated you, i.e. “Oh, you are my dear friend, you are my dear follower, I love you … but in fact we want to f-u-c-k him so badly” Moslehi: “Oh, God. I love you Agha”.

Act 10 : Inside Mr. shit’s Office

Mr. shit: “Did you hear Agha’s speech?” Mashaee: “Yes, he bullshitted us again.” Mr. shit: “He wants to get rid of us. But he could not abandon us. Apparently he did not use his poppy’s essence yesterday. He has forgotten that he was our our leader and our main supporter in killing and raping the people” Mashee: “Yes, but he knows that. And that’s why he can not threaten us seriously.” Mr. shit: “Now we should f-u-c-k the stupid leader. He could be sure that we don’t leave him alone. Do you hear me eavesdroppers ?!!” Mashaee: “Yes, Agha made his big decision in 2009, when he supported us. Now it’s a win-win situation for us, but he just could lose. Do you hear me eavesdroppers ?!!” Mr. shit: “yes, it’s a win-win situation for us, not for him. Do you hear me eavesdroppers ?!!”


Act 11 : Inside Khamenei’s Office

Moslehi: “Mr. shit doesn’t talk to me, even after your private meeting and your public speech.” Khamenei: “Why do you want to talk to him, idiot?” Moslehi: “Because I should go to the cabinet” Khamenei: “There is no need for you to go to the cabinet. You can play with your toys here, I mean you can do your critical job here, in my office.” Moslehi: “But, it’s not a solution. It seems more like we want to remove the problem” Khamenei: “Yes, we should endure the pain. We f-u-c-k ourselves in 2009, and now we must endure the pain in our ass for a while.” Moslehi: “But when we want to show him who is the boss? ” Khamenei: “Very soon, but it’s not very simple” Moslehi: “why? you are the god’s agent on the earth” Khamenei: “yes, but even god has its own limits. It’s god’s order that we should endure the pain in our ass for a while. But I have some new plans for this nasty boy, and Keyhan shows you the new plans”

Act 12 : Inside Keyhan’s Office

Shariatmadari: “Oh, god, where is my drugs?” Ali: “You have done a lot of drugs, I’ve hidden them.” Shariatmadari: “Don’t be stupid Ali, I need them seriously, you know the current situation … I need more drugs.” Ali: “If you do a lot of drugs, you would die.” Shariatmadari: “The death is better than this shitty life. Agha is not as strong as before. One day he says we should f-u-c-k Mr. shit immediately; one day he says that we should endure the pain in our ass; one day he says we should postpone our plans; I know that I should not say these things to you, but you know, I really need the drugs” Ali: “yes, you badly need more drugs”

Act 13 : Inside Mr. shit’s Office

Mashaee: “Agha’s office and Keyhan threaten us and we should give them an ultimatum.” Mr. shit: “They should know that we are not the only victim of this new game.” Mashaee: “We are in a huff now, but what should we do after that?” Mr. shit: “They want to get rid of us. But they can not justify the bloodbath of 2009. Now the people know who is the boss and it’s good for us. They can not simply get rid of us and manipulate the people. We should make use of this weak point.” Mashaee: “I’m sure that the people would f-u-c-k Khatami or Hassan Khomeini or other stupid Islamist reformists, and Agha can not play as before.” Mr. shit: “yes, they see us as the pain in their ass, but we are their fatal pain, their last pain. We should win or the whole system would lose” Mashaee: “it’s so obvious, they have not any other choice. Now we are not the people’s problem. Agha is the people’s problem” Mr. shit: “Agha burned all his boats in 2009 and 2010. He should know “he is the god’s agent = we have 25 million votes”. Our part in this equation is very important for the whole equation.” Mashaee: “We all know the truth, so don’t be stupid dear majesty. Do you hear me eavesdroppers ?!”

One Response to Khamenei and Mr. shit

  1. Marina says:

    Hi! It is very interesting to read! I did not even know Iranians have a sense of humor. It is good to find your place.

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