The old and new sayings and slang of each language/culture can show us many thing about that culture. The ordinary everyday language has many special sayings and slang that can show us how the people think and how they live. The Persian language, as one of the old languages of the world that has changed a lot since some thousands years ago, is full of sayings and slang, and many of them are really funny and can be used internationally. Lets take a look at some of them.
A group of the Persian sayings/slangs are made with the word “Ass” (“Koon”). Here are some of these sayings/slang:
1. When you are excessively happy , tooye koonet aroosieh ( there is a wedding in your ass).
2. When you are teasing people, koonet mikhareh (you have an itchy ass).
3. When you are lazy, koonet goshade (your ass hole is large). 4. When you are forgetful or silly, saret ba koonet bazi mikoneh (your head is playing with your ass )
5. When you lose a favorite, koonet misouzeh (your ass burns). 6. When you work damn hard, koonet pareh misheh (your ass is torn up).
7. When you are scared and shaken, barq az koonet mipareh (light comes out of your ass).
8. When you are extremely frightened , ann tou koonet Alaska mishe (shit becomes ice cream in your ass)
9. When you are damn tired, joonet az koonet dar mireh (your life comes out of your ass).
10. When you are incredibly lucky, az koon shans myiari (your luck comes out of your ass).
11. When you demonstrate disregard for someone, barash koon kaj mikoni (you turn your ass).
12. When you try to bribe someone else, koon midi (let him to f-u-c-k your ass ).
13. When you have a very sharp vision, koonet ham cheshm dareh (your ass has an eye, too).
14. When you think very highly of yourself, az koone fil oftadi (you has come out of Elephant’s ass ).
15. When something terrible happens for you, koonet jer mikhore (your ass is torn up)
When the older generation of Iranians wrote English letter, they were so funny/stupid! They used a lot of Persian old sayings in their English letters ! The following letter is like the letters of the Iranian employees of the NIOC (National Iranian Oil Company), to their American boss (Mr. Hamilton) in 1960s:
Dear Mr. Hamilton, … Since Mr. Ahmadi transferred here everything has changed. “I put him in the seed of my eyes. I don’t know “what a wet wood I have sold him“. He is really Daddy burned. With all kinds of “Cat Dancing” he has tried to become the “eye and the light ” of Mr. Wilson. He made so much “mouse running” that finally Mr. Wilson “became donkey“, and appointed Mr. Ahmadi as his right hand man. Mr. Wilson promised me that next year he would make me his left hand man, but “my eye didn’t drink water“, and I knew that he was trying to put a “hat on my head“. But I did not know “what kind of dirt should I put on my head“. Since that he was just “putting watermelon under my arms ” Knowing that this transfer was only “good for his aunt“. Mr Ahmadi is really an opportunist and I know that when”his donkey passed over the bridge“, then “he will not be the servant of God “. He has not any skill. “His head is playing with his butt “, but unfortunately Mr. Wilson thinks “ the neighbor’s chicken is a goose “. I went to visit Mr. Ahmadi’s wife and complained about him. At first, she said: “Evaa, Dirt on my head ” But after a minute she said: “Ghosts of your stomach; Take away your mortician; Don’t Drop worms; Happiness has been hitting you under your stomach ? if I say that you wanted to rape me, Mr. Hamilton will fire you, so “Don’t dance the cat “, “Don’t hit yourself into left Ali ally“, and leave my husband alone”. I started begging her to forget that I ever came to see her and forget my visit altogether. I said “you saw camel, you did not see camel ” but she was not “ getting off the devils donkey ” Imagine “how much my ass burns .” I said to her: “My 0.02 cent just fell , please forget our visit”, but she said: “To my death? you should say “I ate shit “, “the donkey understood” ” Mr. Hamilton, “I turn around your head“, you are my only hope and my “back and shelter“. “I swear you to the 14 innocents ” please “do some work for me “. Now Mr. Ahmadi’s wife doesn’t answer me, and only says: “ Poison of snake; Pain without a cure” And even Mr. Ahmadi says: “My father came out, and I will take out your father . Mr. Hamilton, please do some work for me .
And some other Iranian sayings/slangs: – The bride can’t dance so she claims the room is crooked (looking for an excuse) – I have your weather (support) – Light in your eye (sarcastic congratulation) -The mortician should take your face away (funny hate) -You cannot ride a camel bending bending (stupid secret job) – Our donkey didn’t have a tail from childhood (funny regret) – S/he came to shape her/his eyebrow but instead poked her/his eye out (stupid improve) – The light that you need in your home don’t give it to the mosque (don’t be fanatic) – If you give a dead man too much freedom he will shit in his coffin (funny complaint) -The mouse that couldn’t go through a hole got a broom tied to his tail (stupid ambition) – The man who wasn’t allowed in the village kept asking for the mayor (being cheeky) – Donkey is yourself (for idiot charlatan) -I’ll hit you so hard you’ll bark like a dog (funny threat) – Don’t let your blood boil or your milk will go dry (funny threat) – Don’t make your blood dirty (funny sympathy) -Snake poison; Pain without a cure (funny anger) -You ate shit (complaint) – When you are given a horse as a gift, don’t count his teeth (being grateful) – The donkey understood (Khar-Fahm Shodan) (when the most stupid people, the donkeys, finally understand some thing)